Independence – Write on the World

We talk a lot about gender roles as though they’re about tradition or preference, but at their core they’re about dependency—about making sure none of us ever feels quite capable enough on our own.

Hanging her own curtains, she’s a quiet reminder that taking care of yourself is both an act of skill and an act of independence.

I’ve come to believe that women and men are both infantilized in different ways so that we remain dependent on one another. Women are told they’re bad with money, tools, cars, and anything remotely technical. Men are told they’re helpless in the kitchen, emotionally illiterate, and incapable of managing a household or nurturing relationships. The end result isn’t balance—it’s a system that quietly ensures everyone needs someone else to function.

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My purple bedroom, complete with Hannah Montana stickers — Here's my purple independence quilt, specially made for me by my mommy.

I never used to like purple. It was always way too girly for me.

When my older son was little, he insisted (much to his father’s chagrin) that his favorite color was purple. My son was about 3 years old when we bought our house. We asked him what color he wanted to paint his room, and he said, “Purple.” His dad threw a fit.

We asked this question again and again, and always the answer remained the same. We eventually painted the poor kid’s bedroom Buzz Lightyear Blue. He was happy enough with the new color, but once in a while, he would confess to me that he really wished it was purple.

Although my son eventually outgrew his purple fetish, the color had begun to grow on me. The fact that my brave little boy could stand up to his dad and keep asking for purple knowing that it would only get him in trouble was a symbol of hope for me. My son had a voice of his own, and he was not afraid to use it. Continue reading “Purple is for Independence” →