Category: Domestic Violence

Bibliography, Domestic Violence

Annotated Bib: ““He Won’t Hurt Us Anymore”: A Feminist Performance of Healing For Children Who Witness Domestic Violence.”

Mandy Webster

This week’s Annotated Bibliography entry analyzes a very powerful article (one I hope you will read) by Danielle M. Stern, who witnessed the abuse of her mother at the hands of a violent step-father as a child. You may view the full text here (Sorry, I couldn’t find this one free for you. However, if you check with your local library, they might be able to provide a copy).

Annotated Bib Entry

Stern, Danielle M. ““He Won’t Hurt Us Anymore”: A Feminist Performance of Healing For Children Who Witness Domestic Violence.” Women’s Studies in Communication 37.3 (2014): 360-378. Communication & Mass Media Complete. Web. 4 Mar. 2015.


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Danielle M. Stern writes an autoethnographic essay that explores the childhood trauma of being a witness and victim of domestic violence at the hands of her step-father. She discusses the importance of feminist storytelling in transforming a victim story into a survivor story. This essay mixes Stern’s personal stories of family violence with academic analysis to inform the reader of the impact on children who are forced to witness violence perpetrated against their mothers. Continue reading “Annotated Bib: ““He Won’t Hurt Us Anymore”: A Feminist Performance of Healing For Children Who Witness Domestic Violence.”” →

Books --> Movies, Domestic Violence

My take on 50 Shades

Mandy Webster

When I was a teenager – many many moons ago – I thought I was a strong young woman. I couldn’t understand why anyone would stay in a relationship with someone who would beat them up. I would never be that stupid. If any man ever hit me, I would just leave.


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Then it happened to me. In the beginning, his jealousy flattered me. It was so romantic how he wanted me all to himself. He got into fights with other men who dared to look at me in public. That was fun until he started getting into fights with me when we got home because I let other men look at me. Somehow, it was my fault that other men looked at me. Somehow, I deserved to be punished for their wayward glances. Continue reading “My take on 50 Shades” →

Domestic Violence, Saving the World One Story at a Time

#APathAppears: Saving the world #OneStoryAtATime

Mandy Webster

Here’s a trailer for another one of my favorite documentary series. The title is based on the following quote:

“Hope is like a path in the countryside. Originally, there is nothing – but as people walk this way again and again, a path appears.” —Lu Xun, Chinese essayist, 1921

It’s amazing what one or two people can do to change the world for so many:

“It’s important to keep bearing witness… keep telling the story.”

Think about it. You could help change the world just by opening up and telling your own story. How powerful is that?

Join the cause. Share your story. Help save the world #OneStoryAtATime.

Continue reading “#APathAppears: Saving the world #OneStoryAtATime” →

Domestic Violence, Facebook, Holidays, Illinois, Mount Mary College, Random Rants

What inspired you in 2014?

Mandy Webster
The "Becky Thatcher House" in Hannib...
On my 2015 to-do list: The “Becky Thatcher House” in Hannibal, Missouri. This building is across the street from Mark Twain’s boyhood home. It was the home of the girl Mark Twain used as the model for Becky Thatcher. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Yes, I’m late. I know. But I’ve been sick with the flu this past week (despite having had a flu shot earlier this flu season) and have accomplished almost nothing over my holiday break. Anyway, here’s my list of things that inspired me in 2014:

  • Malala: Who hasn’t been inspired by Malala? (I mean, other than the Taliban.) The world needs more young women like Malala to stand up for girls and show the world that men like those in the Taliban only want to keep women down because deep down THEY FEAR WOMEN!!
  • Break the Silence Against Domestic Violence: Survivors sharing their stories and helping victims who are in the process of making the transition from victim to survivor.
  • My therapist: 2014 was a rough year for me. It seemed like I would never find a job that would pay enough for me to support my family (my ex hasn’t paid his child support in almost two years now.) I needed steady income and benefits, which was never going to happen while I was freelancing and teaching part-time. I have kids needing braces, etc., and blah, blah, blah, one complaint after another. I was feeling really down on myself and was too stressed out about money and living to be able to focus on writing, so I decided to see a therapist for a while. I ended up connecting with an art therapist who studied at my alma mater (Mount Mary University,) and while we didn’t do any “art” together in my sessions, she totally “got” what I was going through with my lack of inspiration in my own art of writing. She pushed me to write through it, and it was a huge help.
  • The Bloggess and James Garfield’s Christmas Miracles: Check out the blog post for details.
  • Laos organic farming (among other things I’ve watched on PBS recently):

Continue reading “What inspired you in 2014?” →

Domestic Violence, House and Home, Truth

Is it okay to wear a t-shirt that’s been laying around in a dusty box for 15 years?

Mandy Webster
Air Force T-shirt
The back of one of my Air Force t-shirts features my Training Instructors (TI’s), Tech Sergeants Hardy and Cute. TSgt Cute has to be *the* scariest woman I have ever met in my entire life. What I wouldn’t give to know that woman’s story!

In my quest to rid my house of stuff I don’t need, I’ve make several interesting discoveries and recovered many items I forgot I had. One of these items is a squadron t-shirt from my Air Force basic training days. When I found it, I laughed, threw it in the laundry, and then started wearing it non-stop. That’s not weird, is it?

When I separated from the Air Force, my ex destroyed most of my uniforms, my combat boots, and anything else I owned that might remind me I was ever my own person. Somehow, I managed to stash a couple of these shirts in a place where he wouldn’t find them. Continue reading “Is it okay to wear a t-shirt that’s been laying around in a dusty box for 15 years?” →

Domestic Violence, Truth

Life is Truth

Mandy Webster
The Witch of Blackbird Pond
The Witch of Blackbird Pond (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

In a recent Wednesday Writing Prompt, I asked you to consider what themes and motifs seem to appear regularly in your everyday life. One theme that regularly appears in my life is the concept of “truth.” This has occasionally crossed my mind over the past three years, but finally hit home last week when I discovered that yet another research paper had turned into a discussion of the identification and exploration of universal truths.

I’d been writing a narratological analysis of Elizabeth George Speare’s historical YA novel, The Witch of Blackbird Pond and found that many of the academic resources I was reviewing on historical fiction seem to touch on those aspects of human nature that are largely unchanged from one generation to the next. While this was, by no means, the thesis of any of the research papers I read, it was the one common thread that seemed to weave through all of the pieces. Continue reading “Life is Truth” →

Domestic Violence, Relationships

You gotta know when to walk away… and when to run

Mandy Webster
A pregnant woman
What do you do if your man thinks you're repulsive when you're pregnant? | A pregnant woman (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Yesterday, I was listening to the Connie and Curtis morning show on my drive to school. It was Saturday, so of course the show was a replay… in other words, there was no way for me to call in and comment on the topic they were discussing. And of course, it was one of those topics I wanted so much to comment on. As usual, I decided to turn my response into a blog post instead.

Anyway, Connie and Curtis were discussing the plight of a woman whose husband had told her he didn’t want to have any more kids with her because she’s not attractive when she’s pregnant. And apparently, according to him, all of his friends thought she was repulsive as well. He sounds like a winner, right?

Let me just start by saying that my own EX-husband (emphasis on the EX) used to make similar remarks about me on a regular basis. So of course, my gut reaction was that she should leave him. This poor woman’s husband is showing his true colors. This is who he is. Either she accepts him as he is, or she doesn’t truly love him. As far as I can tell, she has two choices: love him as he is, or leave him in the past where he belongs.  Continue reading “You gotta know when to walk away… and when to run” →

Domestic Violence, Essays, Purple, Random Rants

Purple is for Independence

Mandy Webster
My purple bedroom, complete with Hannah Montana stickers
Here's my purple independence quilt, specially made for me by my mommy.

I never used to like purple. It was always way too girly for me.

When my older son was little, he insisted (much to his father’s chagrin) that his favorite color was purple. My son was about 3 years old when we bought our house. We asked him what color he wanted to paint his room, and he said, “Purple.” His dad threw a fit.

We asked this question again and again, and always the answer remained the same. We eventually painted the poor kid’s bedroom Buzz Lightyear Blue. He was happy enough with the new color, but once in a while, he would confess to me that he really wished it was purple.

Although my son eventually outgrew his purple fetish, the color had begun to grow on me. The fact that my brave little boy could stand up to his dad and keep asking for purple knowing that it would only get him in trouble was a symbol of hope for me. My son had a voice of his own, and he was not afraid to use it. Continue reading “Purple is for Independence” →

Domestic Violence, Random Rants

Lying is futile

Mandy Webster
LACKLAND AIR FORCE BASE, Texas -- Staff Sgt. s...
Image via Wikipedia

I don’t get liars, never have. What’s the point? The truth always comes out in the end, no matter how hard you try to cover it up. Truth is afraid of the dark. It doesn’t like to be hidden under a brown paper bag, and it always finds a way to escape.

Back when I was in basic training in the Air Force, our TI’s (short for training instructor, that’s what we called them in the Air Force, as opposed to a drill sergeant in the Army) put us through long, excruciating exercises in paying attention and following instructions. One day, we spent several hours putting our laundry marks in every item of military clothing we’d been issued. Continue reading “Lying is futile” →