Essays, Health and Fitness, Memoir, Oddities

No matter how weird you are, you are never alone

English: JACKSONVILLE, Fla. (Feb. 2, 2011) Lt....
Luckily, I didn’t need to call an entomologist to solve my problem. | English: JACKSONVILLE, Fla. (Feb. 2, 2011) Lt. Tracy Mejeomov, an entomologist at the Navy Entomology Center of Excellence at Naval Air Station Jacksonville, examines a sample of bed bugs under a microscope to identify the species. (U.S. Navy photo by Mass Communication Specialist 2nd Gary Granger Jr./Released) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Recently, I started finding what appeared to be tiny apple seeds in my bed. At first, I thought someone was eating in my bed. After all, it wasn’t that long ago that I had discovered crumbs all over my sheets from what I can only assume was my teenager discovering – and helping himself to – the  tasty, dark chocolaty, sea salt and caramel pretzel treats that I had stashed away in my desk drawer so I could keep them all to myself. However, when I continued to find these seeds, I knew I couldn’t continue to assume that my teenager was coming home from school every day and eating an afternoon snack in my bed.

Because that would just be too weird.

With no obvious explanation to be found, my fertile imagination immediately set to work trying to figure it out. As I worked myself up, imagining everything from mice eating in my bed (I did recently kill a mouse in my living room with a broom after watching my cats chase it for several minutes and then not know what to do with it once they’d caught it) to some disgusting disease or parasite that causes cats and/or people to excrete something that looks like tiny seeds from their bodily openings, I finally turned to the all-knowing oracle, Google.

At first, Google scared the crap out of me, as it is wont to do. The first link I opened landed me on this conversation led by someone who was having the exact same problem that I was having. After reading her discussion post, which begins with the words, “I think we have bed bugs,” my stomach clenched, and my whole body went clammy.

“Oh, my Google gods, I didn’t even think of bed bugs!” Continue reading “No matter how weird you are, you are never alone”

Memoir

I write what I read

let's pretend this never happened by jenny lawson
This is me taking a break from reading at the beach.

Do you ever find yourself urged to write in the same genre you happen to be reading at the moment? I got the idea for my current WIP while reading a fantasy novel. Since then, I have been on a quest to devour every novel I can find that is even remotely related to what I am writing in an effort to keep the writing pump primed.

If I stray too far beyond the sphere of what I am writing, it throws me off. For example, if I take a break to read some poetry, I find myself writing poetry instead of novel scenes. Now that I’m reading a memoir, guess what? I’ve decided to write a memoir.

The Bloggess, otherwise known as Jenny Lawson, writes one of the funniest blogs I have ever read in my entire life. I can always count on her to make me laugh out loud, literally, when I’m feeling my worst. For example, this post here. I didn’t just LOL. I totally snorted. Read it, I dare you. Continue reading “I write what I read”